On Friday January 31, I took my daughter in for what was supposed to be a very routine procedure, LASIK surgery. We both know several people that have had it done and everyone we talked to was happy with the results. Given that wearing contacts or glasses all day had become problematic for my daughter as her current job involves her often looking under a microscope it seemed to be a good idea. She was referred by her eye doctor to a surgeon, both of whom thought she was a good candidate for the procedure.
Unfortunately, the next morning it was evident that something was wrong. She was in great pain and her vision had gotten worse, not better. An appointment was quickly made for a follow-up surgery where they stretched and reset her corneas to try to fix the issue. The next morning she was in even more pain and still couldn’t see.
My daughter is physically disabled and we’ve been through a lot in her 25 years, including at least a dozen surgeries. But the fact that this situation involved her eyesight made this situation the scariest thing we had dealt with to this point.
WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH RUNNING?
I typically run every day and run 40-50 miles per week (although in the winter I count my cross country skiing miles towards that total). That much training takes a decent amount of time. When your life is disrupted, your running and training is disrupted. Your sleeping and nutrition are disrupted. In caring for my daughter I ended up with 5 days of no running or other training. I have been able to get in some runs, but shorter than typical. I haven’t gotten much sleep, and tweaked my back sleeping on her couch for two weeks. My watch tells me my fitness level dropped more than 20 points.
The author finishing the Deadman Peaks 55k in November 2024.
I don’t give a shit about any of that. The only thing that matters to me is my daughter’s recovery. I was feeling fitter than ever going into 2025 and had set some lofty running goals for this year. But my running goals are always my secondary focus to what really matters. I still plan to sign up for the longest race of my life this year, but the reality is no one will care if I finish 5th or 45th depending on how fit I’m able to get myself going in. What people do care about and will remember is if you are there for them when they need you. Life happens. Hard times come and go. When life does happen, remember that running (for most of us) is just a hobby. Give yourself grace and most of all don’t ever prioritize your hobby over your family, friends, career, or community.
RUNNING ADVERSITY IS NOT REAL ADVERSITY
One thing I often hear that makes me cringe in the distance running world is when someone says they had to “overcome adversity” during a race. I’m not saying that running marathons and ultra marathons is not challenging, and it is certainly true that great athletic achievements also require a degree of mental toughness. But real adversity is when life gives you something that you didn’t (quite literally) sign up for. When real adversity hits, you would absolutely drop out if it would make it go away, but you know that won’t help, so you can’t.
Despite what we’ve been repeatedly told by the running media, shoe brands, and for-profit racing companies, I’m here to tell you that running ultra marathons does not make real adversity any easier to deal with. Nothing has been tougher for me than seeing the person I love the most (my daughter) suffer, which unfortunately has been a semi-regular occurrence in her life due to her physical disabilities. This has never gotten any easier, despite the fact that I now run more miles (in races and in my training) than I ever have. I don’t have any misconceptions that it will ever get easier if I were to just run longer races.
Recognizing the Real Badasses Among Us
In 2022 my good friend and fellow DRC board member Liz Haubert finished first place overall and set a new record at the High Five 100. This is an approximately 100 mile unmarked route that summits five 14ers, five 13ers, and has approximately 40,000 feet of climbing (for comparison the Hardrock 100 only has 33,200), which starts and ends in Lake City. Liz was the only woman to finish the race that year and she beat all 10 male finishers. This wasn’t a slow field that she beat. One of the men would later go onto win the Badwater 100 in Death Valley, often considered the most difficult race in North America. Liz deserved to be celebrated for this amazing achievement and was awarded the Durango Running Club’s Performance of the Year Award during our annual ceremony.
Photo courtesy of Liz Haubert
This race is not what I most admire about Liz. In 2023 Liz required labral reconstruction in her hip and several months later needed the same procedure on her other hip. These procedures were not because she overtrained or didn’t take care of her body. These surgeries were necessary as a result of hip dysplasia that she was born with. These are very invasive surgeries with a recovery time of up to a year for each hip.
Liz is still rehabbing from these surgeries, but over this time she has kept her smile that lights up any room she is in. She has still been there for her friends and family when they’ve needed her support. She even volunteers a few hours every week in addition to her full time job to prepare and send out the Club’s weekly newsletter. She has overcome real adversity (and these surgeries aren’t the first time she’s done that) and that’s what makes her a badass.
Liz is not the only DRC member that has overcome significant real life adversity. I don’t have time to get permission from all of them to share their names and stories here, but we have members that lost immediate family members, have survived cancer, have overcome substance abuse, and have served our country in combat zones. One of the great things about being in this club is how many people I’ve gotten to know well through running together. I encourage all of you to make sure your conversations are deeper than what race you are running next. It’s then you will discover the real badasses in the Club.
So what happened with my daughter’s eyes?
On a follow-up visit the next morning, it was discovered that one of her bandage contact lenses had fallen out, which was the main reason for the pain she was in. The doctor put in new bandage contact lenses that were in place for a week. Those recently came out. Her pain is gone and her vision is improving, but still blurry. We are not out of the woods yet, but the doctor anticipates a full recovery and fully restored vision. It’s just going to take time, patience, and gratitude for incremental progress.
We intended to celebrate the success of her LASIK procedure by going to the Denver Aquarium. We ended up going a week and a half later with vision not as good as we hoped, but still had a great time. Life is too short to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves. My daughter is 5’2” tall, often in a wheelchair, loves Strawberry Shortcake, and has never run a mile in her life. But she’s the toughest person I’ve ever met and has overcome more adversity in her 25 years on earth than anyone I know. She’s a badass, and I’m grateful that I was able to take two weeks off of work and my training to care for her through this difficult time.
Checking out the stingrays at the Denver Aquarium